Well, I am writing with zero good news, really. It's okay, though. It took me the whole of two days, but I have come to accept it. I am going home in 27 days. And I thought it would scare me... you know, that I gave up and decided to leave Holland... but it doesn't. I thought that I would be terrified about spending a full 5 weeks without Justin... but I'm really not. It's all part of the adventure. Yeah, technically I failed. The entire purpose of my summer was to find a job in Holland and make some money to pay for this place that I call home. But it hasn't happened, and I'm going home now. I'll be back in the fall.
All in all, I have utterly failed at everything that I have tried to do this summer. I have (as of now) applied for 5 jobs in the fall, if you count the RA reappointment. I have been rejected from 4 of them, and am still waiting to hear about the fifth. I applied for 15 jobs for the summer, and have either been rejected or not heard back about 14 of them. The fifteenth is the conference assistant job that allows me to live here, although I haven't actually seen a paycheck for that. And that's not counting research. It's just sad. I know it's mostly the economy, but it has led me to doubt my own ability as an employee, as a person. Justin is so sweet and tries really hard to make me believe that it's not true, but it's hard to believe anything else when nothing has happened. I know employers have to do their best too, and they have to hire the people that will help their businesses. But it makes me angry, and I'm tired of it. I am just plain tired. Although I have been helping a lot more with the conference assistant job, and will finally be seeing some payment for that this weekend. There is a big conference going on here, and I'll be helping check people in and out all weekend. It's going to be a time suck, but it's going to be the first paycheck that I've seen since school ended, so that's exciting for sure.
So, in 4 short weeks, my life is going to get packed up again and I'm going to hit the road, this time to my home for the first 18 years of my life. Someday soon I'd like to find a new home, hopefully one far away from the confines of the midwest. But for now, it's all I have. I don't know that I'm going to have anything to say until I get back into the swing of it at home, so until then...
