life ain't always beautiful, but it's a beautiful ride.

i have an exam tomorrow, so i won't write much.

sometimes, i'm disenchanted with the world. i have days where i'm not sure which way is up and were i'm supposed to be. or if i'm doing the right thing at all. but then... then something reminds me.

i get scared out of my mind at a haunted house, but i have someone's hand to hold.

i think this place is lonely and boring, and then i take a walk through ruined buildings that predate the declaration of independence.

i don't believe i'm good enough or smart enough or prepared enough to present on a paper in journal club, until i get a text that simply says "rock that presentation."

i lie in bed late into the morning because i know i have a day of studying ahead of me, and when i get up and check my email, a good friend has some time to chat.

i sit in my lonely apartment while my roommate and her fiance are on a date, and i get a phone call from another good friend. or my daddy.

i'm sitting through a boring and awful biochemistry lecture, and yet another good friend texts me with a story that makes me laugh.

i may not always believe in myself. but people believe in me. it's true, the world isn't always perfect. but life is like a biochemical reaction. everything is coupled. for every bad thing that makes us not want to continue, something good gives us the energy to move forward. sometimes i hate it here. but that's ok. because other times i spend an hour of the afternoon walking through the trees with the late afternoon sun shining down on me. or i hold the small body of a baby monkey and feel his heart beating fast against my fingers while he is sedated for a brain scan. or i hear the familiar sound of a text message reaching my phone as a friend i left behind in the midwest thinks of me.

i'm not great at change. i can adjust, i can adapt, but i don't necessarily like it.

that's all right. i'm doing just fine. life ain't always beautiful...

but it's a beautiful ride.