irony is the spice of life.

-Sometimes you finally decide to be active, and your body rebels, and the doctor prescribes inactivity.

-Sometimes you come all the way home for Easter for the first time in years with the intention of driving your car back to school, and two head gaskets blow, forcing you to take the family minivan back instead.

-Sometimes, you finally figure out who you want to be, and the friends you want to have, and you realize that those people aren't looking for new friends, even if you are.


So. A note on irony. It's been haunting me, following me around Hope's campus lately. Sometimes, all I can do is laugh. Sometimes, it makes me want to cry. But most of the time, it just makes me feel alone and completely isolated. Let me explain.

I haven't ran in years. I didn't really want to start again, but intramural soccer was calling to me. So I joined the Chem Club team, and was having a great time, even if my muscles were angry at me. Then, I had the opportunity to join an intramural ultimate frisbee team, and I jumped on it. I miss frisbee, and we're pretty good. Then... my ankles started to hurt. To the point where I could barely walk because of the shooting pains up the sides. My achilles tendons swelled, and certain movements made it seem like my ankles were going to give out all together. So.. I went to the athletic trainer, who told me it was my cleats. So, stop wearing them. All right, I can manage that. Well, the pain didn't go away. In fact, it got worse. So, back to the doctor. The prescription this time: don't do anything, and come back in a week. Joy. Well... now that I've been active, it's killing me to not do anything. I hate it. And I feel like I'm being a terrible intramural team member. Gahh. Irony: 1, Amanda: 0.

Well, I have been planning since spring break to come home for Easter to get the car I'm buying from my parents. Everything was set to go, and my friend and I flew home for the weekend, and were going to drive back on Easter Sunday. Well... in the car on the way home from the airport, my dad informs me that my car is broken. Two head gaskets blew, and they can't be fixed for a couple of weeks. Needless to say, the irony is starting to get to me. I mean, minivans are fine when you're riding with your parents. They're not so cool when you are in college. Gahhh. Irony: 2, Amanda: 0.

The last part is pretty self-explanatory. We're about to graduate. People are set into their friend groups. No one wants me as an addition. I feel like I'm a pretty good friend. People generally enjoy being around me, and I feel like my sense of humor agrees with most people. It's not really me that I'm thinking is the problem. Like with so many things, it's all about timing. I wasted too much time. I wish I could get that back, but I can't. So, I'll just keep on keeping on, hoping that these people will accept me for who I am. They all have their secrets and their inside jokes, and I just chill on the outside. But it's ok. It just makes me sad. Timing, in this case, is irony laughing in my face. So, Irony: 3, Amanda: 0.

I'm trying to take it day by day, and I'm trying not to take it personally. Irony may be out to get me, but the people caught in its path aren't. Optimism is the only way I'm going to be able to get through it. So, irony, you aren't going to break me, no matter how hard you try. Me, my bum feet, and my minivan are going to keep moving forward. I mean, slowly but surely.

Irony, you are the spice of life.