take me away to places i ain't seen.

I'm really sorry it's taken me so long to update since I moved. As you can probably guess, I've been a little busy. I still have people I need to email. I'm sorry, if you're reading this and you haven't heard from me yet. I'm working on it! I should be able to catch up this weekend.

So, I am now a resident of North Carolina. I am all moved in, semi-permanently, at least. I have a new roommate, who is wonderful. I have a new bed, a new desk, a new life. It's strange to think about - almost surreal. A little over a week ago, I was still sitting at a computer in Holland, doing research in the lab I fell in love with this summer. And a little over a week before that, I was still with my new best friends, the people who now know me the best, sitting on a stoop, drinking and laughing and loving life. But that was then. That statement is strange as well. Then. Past tense. I may never do that again with those people. Hmm.

But here I am. I spent four hours at the DMV in order to get my new driver's license, which is now on it's way to me. I'm in the process of getting new insurance for my car, and getting a North Carolina license plate for the back of my car. (I'm keeping Minnesota in the front - I have to hold onto my roots, don'tcha know?) My new checks from my new bank say my new address in the top left corner. New new new. That's all I've been saying, lately. It's ok. I'm ok with it. But it's starting to wear on me. I want routine again. I want that comfort. I want to know that I can do everything the same way - I want to put all of my gear on right side first, so to speak. Always. (To the person who gave me that analogy, you know who you are.) That's how I've always lived. I'm a routine kind of person. I like new, I like the unknown, but it's like a vacation. I can't live in the unknown. It will come. I start my first class already on Monday. I emailed people about lab rotations today. I'm a grown up now.

I guess it's ok to put my gear on left side first sometimes. I mean, sometimes you just have to take that chance, take that risk that things could go wrong. That's what I've been telling myself. I'm not positive yet that I'm not going to completely fall on my face. I mean, I somehow got here, so that's a start. But this is huge. This is my future. Did you know that only 1% of college graduates go on to earn a PhD? Yeah, I'll be in that 1% in 5 years, if everything goes well. How crazy is that?

So I'm jumping in left side first on this one. Because I don't have any clue what the hell I'm doing right now. We'll see what happens. Maybe I'll hit the ground running. At least until I can get back into a routine, I have to keep thinking this. It's all I've got.

With love from North Carolina,

Amanda

"Don't look away. Don't run away. Baby, it's only life. Don't lose your faith. Don't run away. Baby, it's only life."

--> Kate Voegele, "It's Only Life"