you find your faith has been lost and shaken.

i have always had a little trouble putting a name on my faith. i was raised catholic, and still identify with that, because it's all i've ever known. but i have this analytical mind that causes me to question a lot of things about religion. so i've... well, sort of stopped identifying with a specific religion, per se. i'm a christian, and i always will be a christian. however... i don't find god at church. i've never understood that. he's everywhere. i find him everywhere.

i find him on the roads, as i drive around winston-salem. every time i see a certain kind of car, i know someone's looking out for me. i followed someone driving that kind of car through the worst part of a downpour on friday, as i traveled north to washington dc. people can call me crazy if they want to. but it's comforting to me to see these vehicles. to me, they are perseverance. they are faith in something that doesn't always make sense. isn't that what religion is?

i find him on the radio. god, in my opinion, knows what i need to hear. this morning, i needed to hear jason aldean, and that's what he played. and several times during my drive, he's played "gotta have faith" for me. and what is more fitting than that?

mostly, though, i find him in country music. i've always wondered about the people at the gathering at hope college who feel compelled to throw their hands in the air. i know it was in praise for the lord. but i never understood why they felt the need to do that. i loved the gathering, but not that much. i didn't know what to do with those people. that sounds like i'm lumping everyone together, and i apologize for that. but this weekend, i began to understand. brad paisley was onstage, and my hands went up on their own. because my faith shows its true colors in country music.

i don't know why. but i don't feel like it needs to be explained. other people find faith in church. in prayer. in the bible. in gospel music. why does this have to be any different?

country brings me back to my roots. to watching cmt in the afternoons with my daddy when i was little. to singing along with the radio while my dad worked on the house. to middle school, when i was so grossly misunderstood. to holland, when i rediscovered it when i needed to heal the most. country music revives me. it makes me believe that i can be better. it makes me laugh, and cry, and love so deeply.

this is what i'm talking about.

country is faith. country is hope. and country is love.

"you're not supposed to say the word cancer in a song. and telling folks that jesus is the answer can rub them wrong. it ain't hip to sing about tractors, trucks, little towns, and mama, yeah, that might be true. but this is country music, and we do. do you like to drink a cold one on the weekends and get a little loud? do you want to say i'm sorry or i love you, but you don't know how? do you wish somebody had the nerve to tell that stupid boss of yours to shove it, next time he yells at you? this is country music, and we do."

--> brad paisley, "this is country music"