Day 13: everytime i look at you, it's like the first time.

There are two interesting things that have happened in the past week. Well, three, technically.

1. I have had a headache for the last 6 days. It sucks. All I want is someone to care, and no one does...

2. The new Taylor Swift CD came out! And I have concluded that she is stalking me and writing songs about my life. Here are some examples:

"Maybe this is wishful think. Probably mindless dreaming. But if we loved again, I swear I'd love you right. I'd go back in time to change it, but I can't. So if the chain is on your door, I'll understand."

--> Back to December

"Come on, come on, don't leave me like this. I thought I had you figured out. Something's gone terribly wrong. You're all I wanted. Come on, come on, don't leave me like this. I thought I had you figured out. I can't breathe whenever you're gone. Can't turn back, now I'm haunted."

--> Haunted

"So many things that I wish you knew. So many walls up I can't break through. Now I'm standing alone in a crowded room, and we're not speaking. And I'm dying to know, is it killing you like it's killing me?"

--> The Story of Us

I think just those three are evidence of my point. It's a bit ridiculous, actually. It's not something I want to be reminded of all the time, but at the same time, everything sounds better when it's put to music. So yes, I feel a little vulnerable now, because everyone who is anyone listens to Taylor Swift, so they all know my inner-most thoughts and feelings now. Great.

The worst part? Even her songs about love applied to me just a few months ago. That's what hurts so bad. Blah.

3. I helped with a program for RA stuff on Friday. Guess who else was helping?

It was less awkward than I thought it would be. I was initially very embarrassed, actually, because I have been pouring out my heart to him for a long time. He knows everything about me, all my weaknesses, but he doesn't care. Or, if he does, he hasn't been telling me about it. But the weirdest thing happened. I thought it would be super awkward, but it wasn't. When he first walked in and I saw him, he took my breath away, like always. I had to look down so that I wouldn't smile at him like I used to when he would walk into a room. He's still so captivating to me. I don't feel like that when I see any other person, ever.

I'm afraid that's going to completely die if we stay apart. I'm never going to feel that again.

When we talked, it was fine too. He wouldn't look at me very much, but I couldn't take my eyes off him. I can't believe that he thought I stopped being interested in what he was saying. He could be trying to explain how the moon controls the tide, or how light is both a wave and a particle, or anything, and I would be completely captivated. Because I'm still in love with him, no matter how hard I try to hide it or fake it.

That's the moral of this story. He captivates me. Every move he makes, every word he speaks, everything he does.

In fact:

"This night is sparkling, don't you let it go. I'm wonderstruck, blushing all the way home. I'll spend forever wondering if you knew I was enchanted to meet you."

--> Enchanted

I'm telling you, T. Swift nailed it.